At the start of the year I spent some time reflecting on what I wanted from this year. I enlisted some inspirational help through Leonie Dawson’s workbook, the PassionPlanner and One Little Word (which you can read about here).
I wanted to give you an update on how things are going:
My word for the year is Possibility. I have been sitting with that word this year and it has both driven me and surprised me. I am making choices in questioning what is possible as well as facing areas where I have been unconsciously choosing *not* to dwell in possibility. This word has been a great tool for me to see many ways in which I limit myself and I am continually surprised in both the large and small ways I ‘out myself’ with this word, as I generally perceive myself to be an optimist who believes in what is possible. Mind you, I chose this word specifically because I have become aware that entering the phase of motherhood has disconnected me from much of that mentality. I am definitely seeing all the ways this is so!
My totem word is doing its work!
When it comes to creating specific goals and making the daily habits stick to accomplish them I falter a bit. I am sporadically planning out meals, workouts, me time, and other important but unglamorous daily tasks to get to the goals I have created for myself and find that it works very well when I do it but I am challenged to keep a structure that requires daily record-keeping (any of you who have been asked to keep a food log can probably relate!). Sometimes weeks go by when I do not pull out my planner and other times I am able to maintain a strong streak for about two weeks. I have yet to fill out the reflective prompts in the passionplanner and utilize it to its fullest extent. Ironically, I think all that is needed is a little planning. Exploring my resistance to planning and following a schedule is another thing altogether.
I started working with a friend going through Leonie’s book together and this accountability has been helpful in moving things forward. What has been most successful though is the “One Little Word” with Ali Edwards. Between the online Facebook group, the ‘tiny bits’ of frequent practice and the lack of a defined, specified outcome this exercise is one that I am enjoying exploring and feeling into each month. It has not been without its own challenges, but I have yet to walk away and abandon this class for more than a week. It is also encouraging me to explore my artistic side which has been woefully neglected and this is also something I am enjoying working through and exploring.
Last month we were to collage our word onto a 16″ x 20″ canvas. While I have extensive experience with collaging and vision boards, working with a canvas was completely new to me. Canvases are for artists who are good enough to create something permanent they want the world to see, and I do not consider myself one of them. I discovered I still have a lot of stories from my childhood about what it means to be a good artist that are clearly beyond my skillset. I sat with that canvas all month long, intimidated, until April 1st when I brought together some images I had selected and played a little with distress stains as the background to create this:
This month we are to define our word for ourselves and ask questions to really understand our totem word and what it means in our lives. I put my initial thoughts in my art journal, but will be playing with this exploration all month. This is also my first time experimenting with Gesso, and I have to say – it’s a game changer!
So far this year I am sitting with many ways I sell myself short prematurely, my resistance to following a defined schedule, and my beliefs about myself and my artistic abilities. I have signed up for a couple art classes to push this envelope and get more comfortable in different mediums. I have pushed my belief in what it means to be a good mom by taking trips alone to recharge and get some serious “Me” time. I have yet to dive into my reticence to follow a schedule for more than two weeks at a time and have not journaled as much as I need to about my self-imposed limitations. I did, however, push past my beliefs about a situation in which damage was done to my car during a detail and am working with the company for just compensation. This is something that was a small, yet powerful way that I both challenged my beliefs about women and the auto industry, corporate responsibility, and the value in speaking up for what I want. The word “possibility” was directly responsible for that.
Where are you at with your 2016 goals and aspirations?